


Endgame

by bestabsoluteduelist



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, Black Mirror - Freeform, Character deaths are complicated, Christmas, F/F, IT'S A SAN JUNIPERO AU, San Junipero, SuperCorp, That's right, and spoilers, but there's someone else who died off-screen, happy holigays, if you've never seen San Junipero you should watch it first cause it's amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-24 15:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17102789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestabsoluteduelist/pseuds/bestabsoluteduelist
Summary: Kara leans in with messy eagerness, and Lena is only too happy to meet her halfway, running her hands along that strong jaw, into long blonde hair that’s just as soft as she imagined it--12:00-A chance encounter at a club with a penchant for 2017-2018 pop music sparks a life (and death) changing romance between Kara and Lena.Or, the San Junipero AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bs13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bs13/gifts).



> This is for Bs13 and the request: "supercorp + any kind of au honestly!" I dropped an anonymous ask on tumblr about a month ago saying 'Supercorp San Junipero AU?' just to make sure it would be well-received, and the response was very enthusiastic, so here you go!
> 
> I love San Junipero (the title of an episode of the Netflix show Black Mirror) to pieces, but that extra meant I didn’t just want to do a rewrite that was just plugging Lena and Kara into it. San Junipero is so much fun when you don’t know what’s coming, and I wanted to capture at least some of that feeling for folks like me who’ve seen it. So the major plot points are all the same, but Lena and Kara are both a little bit of Kelly and a little bit of Yorkie.

Lena glances up at the stars, bright in the sky despite the city lights, wishing for some of their ethereal strength. It's a calm, clear summer night - Lena wishes she could be so calm or so clear at the moment instead of this acute feeling of being entirely out of place.

She brings her eyes down to the ground. The town sprawls out around her, two-story shops and cafes bustling with pedestrians. Their talk and laughter mixes with the poppy music, drifting from the open doors of a building across the road. A club, judging by the synth 120something beats-per-minute that could be any of a dozen other songs. There's a marquee with "L's" written in dotted LED lights. With another deep breath and a wish for heavenly help, the young Luthor crosses the street, and steps over the threshold.

Music drowns out the talk and calms her restless nerves a bit as she surveys the scene. There's a bar across the width of the building, a dance floor across the length, and a ring of tables surrounding. The whole place is full of a blend of people who look her age, twentysomethings, some chatting quietly, some drinking alone, some getting to third base in shadowy booths. Most, though, are out on the floor moving to catchy lyrics and a fast beat. It's not intimidating so much as unfamiliar to her. How to behave in a space like this, with so many people, with so few rules or consequences. She slides her phone out to check the time.  _20:45 Sat. July 7, 2018_ says the polished iPhone 10.

There's an open doorway on the wall, and Lena wanders into it. It leads to a surprisingly large room, comfortably housing half a dozen groupings of soft chairs and coffee tables, a few rows of standard arcade machines, and a wall of bookshelves holding board games. There's a bulletin board with flyers for nearby shops: a karaoke house with a Hello Kitty-esque mascot, a PC cafe boasting regular Overwatch tournaments.

She walks down the row of arcade terminals, runs her hand over the console of some Japanese music rhythm game plastered with pictures of cute girls in gorgeous outfits. It gets a passing glance before she moves on to a military-themed first-person shooter. The rapid  _pop pop pop_  of gunfire startles her, and she flees the arcade back into the crowded, but sound effect-free, bar.

Taylor Swift is complaining about a delicate situation over the speakers. Lena weaves in and out of bodies and chuckles to herself about how no, her reputation couldn't be worse. In the crowd, she knocks into a solid shoulder, nearly falls to the ground, and receives nothing but a mumbled apology from the retreating figure. Lena squeezes out of the cluster as the song ends, temporarily blanketing the room in buzzing quiet-or maybe she's just stopped being able to hear, because as Lena catches sight of the counter, there's a figure at the bar that makes the world melt away around her.

The blonde girl is so stunning, Lena's sure that all the lights in the room must be shining on the golden hair that falls in waves over strong shoulders, and Lena imagines the feeling of soft locks on her fingers. A melodic voice carries clearly even as the next song pounds in the speakers.

"-had a great time, really, James, but-"

Lena becomes dimly aware that the voice is only clear because Lena has been unable to stop herself from approaching both the woman, and, she now notices, the tall, well-built, friendly-looking man sitting one seat over. His bright smile dims at the words of rejection, and he cuts in:

"But what? There's chemistry here, Kara."

She puts her hands up in front of her in a plain 'I don't want anything to do with you anymore' gesture. "Please, don't make this harder than it is."

Lena prays that she heard the name right over Adam Levine's crooning about girls like you and pushes her way to the side of the most beautiful girl she's ever laid eyes on, and says like she's found an old classmate and not a stranger in a bar: "Kara!"

The girl- _Kara? Please be Kara_ -turns to Lena with just as shocked of an expression as Lena knows she must be wearing herself.

And then Kara-yes, Kara-smiles, finds Lena's hand with her own, and laughs "There you are!" Lena thinks she could die happy this very moment.

"Hello," the man says, confused but polite. "Friend of yours, Kara?"

"Yes!" If Kara's response is a bit too enthusiastic, James doesn't seem to notice. "James, this is-"

"Lena," she supplies, hand extended. He raises an eyebrow, but gives a firm handshake. "Nice to meet you."

"Lena," she supplies, hand extended. He raises an eyebrow, but gives a firm handshake. "Nice to... meet you? We haven't met before, have we? On the outside?"

"No," Lena replies in a practiced, measured voice. "Just one of those faces."

James tips his drink back but continues to take in Lena's features, like their familiarity might come to him. "Hmm."

"Now, if you'll excuse us," Kara weaves their fingers together and draws Lena towards her, who complies gladly. There's a wistful look on James' face, and honestly, Lena can't blame him for wanting to stay with this woman.

"Can I-buy you a drink?" He offers to Lena. "We can all talk?" But Kara shakes her head no.

"I want to catch up with my friend." Just the sound of the word spreads a warmth through Lena. Kara adds in a whisper, "We might not get to talk again. She's… sick."

"Six-months-to-live sick," Lena supplies. There's a spark in Kara's eyes, but she manages to arrange her face into something appropriately somber. James likewise, seems genuinely sorry for the pair.

"Oh. Alright. I'm sorry to hear that," he directs at Lena. With a last hopeful look at Kara, he adds, "I'll see you around?"

"Mmmm," Kara hums, not quite meeting his eyes. He nods, and walks away. Kara doesn't turn until he's exited the bar entirely, and Lena might spend most of the time just staring at the perfect curve of her jaw.

"Phew!" Their hands release and Lena's disappointment must be visible, because Kara quickly grabs them together again, though in something resembling a two-hand shake. "Sorry that I lied, but… I feel so bad turning him down without a reason, you know? He's really a nice guy. The whole point of this place is to feel good, and I hate ruining that."

"You don't need a reason. It's about  _you_ feeling good too, you know. You should spend time with who you want to spend time with." Lena regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth because all she wants is Kara to spend time with her but what reason would she ever have to stay at Lena's side besides… maybe some kind of pity? An exchange of favors?

Another smile illuminates Kara's face. There are well-worn creases at the corners of her mouth, under her eyes just visible under the thick, black frames from her easy smile. "Yeah. You're right." She hesitates a beat, and Lena is fully convinced she's about to excuse herself, when she adds, "I think I'd like to spend time with you. If you want to, too?" she winces at the awkward phrasing "I mean-too-also-if you also want to spend time with me."

"I'd like that very much," Lena replies, and relief washes Kara's face and brings back that brilliant smile. Lena smiles back, and though it's out of practice and strained, she feels every bit as light as the way Kara looks.

They're at the bar, and Kara calls "Can I get a coke, please? And…?" She looks to Lena, who smirks and answers. "Two Jack and Cokes."

The bartender nods and reaches for the whiskey. Kara's eyes are wide as they flit between the bottle and Lena.

"You really just order plain Coke?" Lena questions. "Isn't this supposed to be a party town?" Kara shrugs.

"Alcohol's never done much for me." A worried look crosses Lena's face as the bartender sets the two glasses down on the counter, but Kara takes the offered drink and adds, "It's fine though! I'm happy to have what you're having."

Lena picks up her own glass and the two meet with a clink. They drink in silence for a few moments. The bass rumbles under their feet like a heartbeat.

"So. Lena-it is Lena, right?" Kara receives a nod in reply, and her furrowed brow smooths in relief that she hasn't misheard the name. "How long have you been in San Junipero?"

"Tonight's my first night." The lights flash blue, red, purple, on the surprise in Kara's face. She tilts her head, mouth full of drink, in a silent, really? Lena nods. "What, you find that hard to believe?"

Kara swallows her alcohol, and gasps out, "You're so-confident!"

"Years of practice," Lena says with a wink, tipping her own glass to her mouth. But the smile doesn't reach her eyes, and she can tell from the serious expression she gets in return that Kara can sense what's hidden under the words. It disarms her, to feel so exposed so easily. She's used to people looking down on her, to people not believing her bluster and bravado. But the curious look on Kara's face isn't arrogant, or pitying. It's understanding. Lena's amazed she recognizes it at all, so little she's seen it in her life.

Silence stretches between them. The music shifts from staccato guitar to slow pounding bass, and Kara's face lights up.

"Oh, I love this song! Do you want to dance?"

"You want to dance… with me?" Lena tests. A stunningly beautiful woman who was just arguing with an equally attractive man talking to her is one thing, but also being gay? What are the odds? Lena's a woman of logic and science, not of luck and fate. This doesn't seem possible.

"Of course!" Kara beams, reaching out a hand to Lena. Lena's not sure her feet touch the ground when she takes the offered palm and they move to the dancefloor. Kara moves with practiced ease, swaying to a familiar beat, and they've broken into the crowd.

Kara dances easy as breathing, and laughs the same. Lena stands arm's-length from her, rocking from side to side and trying not to let her discomfort show. She dips her head to check her feet, and when she raises it, Kara's smirking at her.

"Just relax!" She guides Lena closer and the contact is electrifying. Lena feels her limbs lose their stiffness as Kara's mere touch. Kara moves her into place and smiles as Lena relaxes. "There you go. How's that feel?"

"Good," Lena breathes. She chances pressing another few inches closer. Kara doesn't seem to mind. "And… how do you feel?"

"Really good," Kara agrees. Scattered lights paint her face in reds and blues, catch on her ocean eyes that see farther into Lena than anyone else's ever have. The thudding of her heart times with the thudding bass drum, and as Lena bridges the gap between the two of them, she agrees with the lyrics in her ears that they'll all  _never be the same_.

Kara's eyes widen at the press of Lena's lips. There's a single, euphorious moment when Kara's mouth is soft and warm, and Lena thinks it's everything she ever wanted-

Kara jerks away, clumsy. They stare at each other for a moment in equal shock. Lena's brain processes what's just happened, and her heart cracks clean in two.

The blank look on her companion's face is all the confirmation Lena needs that she's crossed a line. Kara isn't interested. Lena misread the signs. The whole night had been strange, and Lena realizes with a rush of dread, her fears have been confirmed-it's because she doesn't belong here.

Lena manages to stutter out some kind of goodbye before she's pushing through the bodies around them, out of the heat and into the chill night air. Rain  _shushes_  on the pavement. She wonders dimly at the irony of the rain, here, of all places, but can't bring herself to focus on anything more than her own mortification.

"Lena!"

Kara's voice punches through the fog surrounding Lena's thoughts. Kara runs out of the bar-sprints, even, and if Lena wasn't so distraught, she'd be impressed-and skids to a stop in front of Lena, rain splashing in a puddle around her ankles like something out of a movie.

"Wait!" Kara pants. "Please wait!"

Lena wants the very opposite. She wants the clock to strike midnight and lift the spell they're under and they can just go back to not knowing each other again. She wants to run far, far away. But Kara's voice urging, "It's okay. You-you don't have to leave." has her feet stuck to the ground.

Lena laughs, harsh and bitter. "Did you want me to kiss you?"

Kara blanches at that, and admits. "Well-no?" Her eyes are pleading, and Lena hardly knows why, if the attraction isn't mutual. Lena wants so much to let herself be with this woman anyway, but she's lived a life being taunted by things she cannot have, and she's had enough of it.

Lena pushes off the wall and starts walking into the night rain. It's surprisingly warm on her skin. The phone in her hand reads  _21:37_  but she can't even care about how much time she's throwing away. The noise of the club music and Kara calling her name fades away until there's nothing but the steady thrum of rain on the pavement.

* * *

Lena stumbles through the rain til she's out of sight, and Kara wrestles with the overwhelming urge to follow. No, she didn't want to be kissed, exactly, but it wasn't-bad? It was fine, it was good even! It was just-unexpected. The whole thing was unexpected.

Kara slips back into L's, switches into dry clothes, and manages to avoid James and anyone else who might be tempted to kiss her. The rest of the night passes without incident save for a weird skittery feeling in her chest.

One week later

Kara spends the night alone on the dance floor.

It's... Not bad. Fine. Nice, maybe.

At 11:57pm she swings by the bar on her way out, humming  _ooh ahh ooh ahh ooh ahh ooh ahh,_ and asks the bartender, real casual,

"Hey Alexander, have you seen the girl I was talking to last week?"

He shakes his head, says with a chuckle. "Maybe try a year with better music?"

Kara frowns, mumbling under her breath as she leaves, "I like Ed Sheeran..."

/

One week later

Kara takes a break from dancing to check out the arcade. Maybe Winn will be here and they can get in a round of Guitar Hero.

She expects it to be half-full as usual, full of folks either too shy to dance or confident enough to know that they in fact, do want to be alone and spend time with their nostalgic video games.

What she does not expect is Lena and Winn to be midway through the DDR mix of Shut Up and Dance, laughing and singing along,  _chemical, physical Kryptonite,_  when the steps are slow enough. Kara watches, mesmerized, as Lena fumbles through on a level entirely too hard for her. Winn, of course, racks up a 150 combo.

They finish, breathless and Winn offers a hand that Lena readily high-fives. They turn to Kara, who is met with very big, and opposing reactions. Winn's smile widens as he shouts "Kara! Haven't seen you in a few weeks! They updated the DDR, you gotta give it a go-"

Lena, meanwhile, looks like someone's hit her in the stomach, eyes wide, mouth falling open and snapping shut. She composes herself after a moment, and slips away with a muttered 'ladies' room'.

Winn doesn't notice Kara's crestfallen face, nor does he notice how lackluster her normally stellar DDR performance is. Kara pushes through the night, but Lena does not return, and by 10:45, Kara drops down onto one of the nearby comfy chairs.

"Kara? You okay?" Winn asks. The blonde shakes her head to clear the reverie. She shouldn't chase Lena. San Junipero is a big place. There's plenty of people to spend time with.

"Yeah, fine," she lies.

/

One week later

Kara plays DDR with Winn for three hours, and eventually claims she's tired of hearing The Chainsmokers over and over for an excuse to leave the bar. She peeks in on the computer cafe, and walks all the way back to her house.

/

One week later

She talks to a nice boy named Adam for an hour. He's a local. The level of conversation is so low she might as well be trying to talk to, like, a zombie. But he's… nice, she supposes, even if doesn't get more than halfway interested the entire time. He ends up getting turned off when he notices Kara singing  _London girl with an attitude_  a little too enthusiastically, and honestly, Kara is only too thrilled to get rid of him.

She leaves L's at 8:16pm and spends the next three hours and forty four minutes going into every bar on the street, and two cat cafes for good measure. She stops short of the dog cafe. Lena is definitely a cat person.

/

One week later.

At this point, Kara doesn't expect to see her again. Really. She knows it's pointless to look twice at every pale face, to freeze at every pair of green eyes, to blink at every set of high cheekbones and blood-red lips.

But she does it anyway.

She's made three laps of L's before she's ready to concede that Lena really, truly isn't here. She wanders around and wastes a whole precious hour before she runs into Sara and gives up and gets a drink with her.

"Don't get me wrong, I love a good Zedd song-Jack and coke," Kara pauses in her commentary on the music selection to place a drink order and receives raised eyebrows from bartender and companion alike, which is is completely oblivious to."But why is there always a clock ticking? This song isn't-"

"Since when do you drink?" Sara interrupts, finally getting enough composure to voice the question. She's got her neat Laphroig in hand and is already knocking back the whole thing.

"Since, uh, always," Kara replies, ever glib, as the glass slides down the bar in front of them. Sara just smirks as Kara takes the barest sip of her spiked cola.

"Meet someone?"

Kara splutters on her minuscule amount of drink, puts it back down on the bar with a loud  _thunk_  and attempts to look casual. "Pffft no."

"What about that pretty lady a few weeks ago?" Alexander interrupts as he slides a second scotch in their direction. Sara snags her newly-refilled glass and raises a toast.

"Good job, tiger!" Kara buries her head in her arms, face burning.

"Alexandeeeeeeer," she whines. "It's not-she's not- okay yeah, I met Lena, but I didn't meet someone like-like  _meeting_  someone."

"Lena? Not Lena Luthor?"

Kara shakes her head even as it's still resting on her forearms, but turns to look up at Sara. "We didn't exchange last names, I dunno."

"Are you serious kid? You're how old and you don't know who Lena Luthor is?"

"As an American millennial, yes, I know of the infamous secret daughter of the Luthors, but I don't know what she looks like. No one does." Something clicks, and Kara lifts her head. "Oh, is that why she's here?"

"Maybe, no one's heard about her in ages. But from looking at her, I think she's a visitor like us. She always seems in a hurry."

"You've seen her?" Kara's voice is just a little too eager. Sara raises an eyebrow, smug.

"If I did, would you want to find her?"

Kara resists the urge to yell  _YES PLEASE LET'S GO RIGHT NOW_  and casually rubs the back of her neck. "Ye!-I mean, I guess a change of scenery would be cool."

"Oh my god, Kara. You're such a useless gay."

She sputters. "I-no-you know that I'm-"

"Yeah?" Sara leans in close, and though Kara is still stammering some kind of excuse and her eyes fly wide in surprise, she doesn't break away. The excuses fade away the longer Kara is in Sara's orbit and the gravity pulls her in. Their noses brush-Sara's face hovers so close but Kara finds it's not close enough and pushes to close the gap.

"Then what was that night in your house?" Sara whispers, and Kara feels a heavy beat in her chest, and it urges her forward-and then suddenly Sara ducks away and Kara tips sideways off of her bar stool to the sound of laughter. Kara climbs back up to her seat, disgruntled.

"Ha ha," Kara grumbles. "Some help you are."

"Well, how do you feel about Lena kissing you now?"

"Um." Kara blushes. "What-how did you-"

"Ray saw you two that night on the dance floor," Sara admits. "You know he's terrible at keeping secrets."

Kara lays her head down on the hard wood of the bar in defeat. "Sara, I feel so bad. I just-the look on her face. She was so devastated. I was just caught off guard! I really do like her."

"Like her, or  _like her_  like her?"

"That is so middle school," Kara deflects.

"No, you pretending you don't have a crush on a woman you very obviously do is so middle school. Come on. If you really don't think you want to make out with her a little bit, then fine. But if you do, well, we're not getting any younger here."

"...maybe a little bit."

"Atta girl!" Sara finishes off the second scotch, and pushes back her stool. "She usually hangs out at Roulette's."

Kara's eyes widen. Oh.

/

Kara knows what goes on here. She's lived a lot longer than it looks. She knows what people do and that they have… eclectic interests sometimes. Interests that don't overlap her own. Especially in San Junipero, where they can do literally whatever they want.

She's been to Roulette's a few times, mostly with James. It's just not her thing. But the thought of Lena here doesn't make her want to find her any less, so Kara ducks into the dimly lit entrance after Sara and braces herself for… well, anything.

They walk down a long hallway that opens into a large, shadowy bar. Kara feels like she's got on a pair of blue-tinted sunglasses.  _How you dare how you dare how you dare_ , the song blares, like it's calling out Kara for being bold enough to enter. There's a small dance floor in front of the DJ, but most of the room is covered in booths and tables full of folks in various states of intoxication and undress. Couples shove each other up against walls, not caring - or caring in a way that they  _like_  - that an entire room can watch them make out.

There's another doorway on the far side of the room and they pass through a few more dark, sexual-exploit filled rooms. Finally they come to a locked door. Sara raps twice, sharp.

"Password?" A gruff voice asks from the other side.

"Starling."

The door swings open to less a room and more an arena. There's a high ceiling, and industrial lighting over a few square fenced-in patches of ground, like cheap homemade boxing rings. Cage fights, Kara supposes is the word for it.

"Do you know how to get here from experience, or…?" Kara asks nervously. She's wound tight as they approach the fighting.

Sara shrugs. "Fighting was my line of work. It feels good to get some of that mojo back. Most of the folks here either were real good at it like me and they miss it, or they don't know shit and want to try it out with no consequences."

Three or four of the rings are occupied, and small crowds surround each. They wander past the first. Three people knock each other around with bo staffs, but no actual skill. There's a lot of missed strikes and dull thuds as they smack each other without the ability to cause any real damage.

Sara nods to the second ring, where Kara can just spot two women boxing. "That's Roulette herself. And-"

"Lena," Kara breathes. She shoves her way to the front of the few dozen people surrounding, and when she breaks to the front, pressed right into the barbed wire fence, there she is.

Lena doesn't notice her, doesn't seem to notice or care about anyone in the crowd. She circles her opponent in a reasonably practiced fighting stance. They don't have any weapons at the moment, just their bodies, but Kara knows a skilled mixed martial arts stance when she sees one.

The opponent has similar long dark hair, but bronze skin, wicked biceps, and full-body snake tattoo showing very clearly under her tight shorts and sports bra.

Lena is likewise clothed, and Kara would be more distracted by this fact if it didn't reveal an array of newly-formed bruises. Bruises that the other, taller, more muscular woman, did not have.

"Oh shit, Kara," Sara mutters in her ear. "Look at those bruises. She's crazier than you."

Roulette turns under Kara's scrutiny. She meets Kara's eyes, raises one eyebrow in a challenge. Like what you see? Kara blushes, and breaks eye contact in time to see Lena lunge at Roulette's distraction. Some of Kara's worry melts away as Lena flies in for a series of well-placed jabs, all finding their mark on an open stomach. Roulette doesn't manage to block anything.

"You left yourself open, Veronica," Lena goads once they break apart again.

"Gotta say, Lena, I wasn't expecting any of this." Roulette rolls her shoulders back a few times, shakes her head back and forth. "Who'd have thought, a homebody like you?"

It's slight, but Lena's smile hardens. She darts into Veronica's space and raises a leg for an upward kick. Veronica throws both hands up by her face to catch the strike, but Lena jerks the leg behind herself and throws a jab at the same time. The momentum rockets her fist, and while Veronica's arms are still up and guarding her head, the force throws her to the ground.

A bell rings, and someone calls. "End of the round!"

Kara blinks, suddenly kneeling next to the fence, in Lena's line of sight. She didn't realize she'd moved so close, but the pull to Lena is magnetic. Sara's shoving through people behind her. Kara presses a hand to the fence.

The bell rings, and that same voice calls the fighters back to the ring. Lena and Veronica square off again, shaking fists and trading glares. There's a new addition - Veronica has a metallic contraption on her left hand.

Sara comes up next to Kara against the fence. "Hey! Watch out!" she calls, loud enough for Lena to hear, but it blends in with the shouts of the crowd. Sara curses under her breath. "Kara, tell your friend that she better get the hell out of dodge. See that on Veronica's hand? Not pain-slider friendly."

"Lena!" Kara yells. In the ring, Lena's head twitches in their direction, but it's just a moment, and she continues to circle Veronica. Kara clutches at the fence.

Sara sighs. "Well, she'll figure it out eventually."

Kara grips the metal links tighter. Veronica swings with her bare fist a few times, but Lena parries each one. Then there's a flash of light, and Lena stumbles, one arm over her face. Veronica raises the robot-looking glove on her hand and dear Rao, it's electrified.

Lena senses the suddenly crackling of electricity enough to jump back out of arm's reach, but Veronica takes the opportunity to slam her heel into Lena's stomach with a simple forward kick Lena doubles over, winded, staggers away and slams a shoulder into the fence onto Kara's clenched hands.

"Stop," Lena wheezes, but it's so low, even Kara, hands pressed to Lena's back, can barely hear it. Veronica stalks closer. Sparks jump between her fingers, crackling and popping.

"She said stop!" Kara yells. Lena, still gasping, throws her a look over her shoulder, but Veronica doesn't pay any attention over the rest of the crowd shouting. They don't realize-they think she's just winded. They think Lena wants to do this. Maybe they do know how much it's going to hurt and they don't really care.

Veronica curls the hand into a fist, and before anyone knows what's happening, Kara scales the fence, ignoring the sharp wire biting into her fingers, and drops down smack between Lena and Veronica. The latter pulls her punch short, scowling at the interruption.

"What're you doing, blondie?"

Kara, momentarily satisfied that Veronica has stopped, doesn't answer but whirls around and drops to her knees next to Lena.

"Are you okay?" Kara murmurs. Lena nods, watching Kara's hands hover near her shoulders. "Can I touch you? Help you up?"

Lena nods again, and Kara grasps her forearms and stands, pulling Lena up alongside her. Lena catches her breath enough to finally ask, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you again," Kara says and the 'are you serious?' look on Lena's face takes some of the romanticism out of the moment. "Aaaand I realize that this is a very awkward and public way to go about that-"

"Hey!" Veronica shouts. They both turn to her, side by side. Veronica lunges to the right, towards Lena, who shifts back into a fighting stance-

"Wait!" Kara shouts, jumping in front of Lena. Her hands are raised in the universal please-don't-electrocute-me-with-your-taser-robot-hand gesture, but Veronica doesn't bother to stop this time. Kara hears Lena's sharp gasp when Veronica's fist slams into her stomach.

The pain is immediate and blinding. Kara yells as the shock sears through her body and staggers back in a desperate attempt to keep her footing. But it's hard to keep her limbs working. One leg gives way, then the other, and she sinks to her knees.

The crowd quiets as they watch her panting and twitching and trying really hard not to fall over any more. The world starts to dim and fuzz, and Kara just catches 'hey!' and Lena scrambling towards her before she hits the ground it goes completely dark.

* * *

It's that memory of Lena that convinces her she's not dreaming when she wakes up to the same face hovering overhead The worried creases in Lena's face smooth somewhat as Kara blinks, though her mouth still curls in a sharp frown. Overall, she does not look happy to see Kara.

"Um," Kara smiles weakly. "Hi."

"You-!" Lena clamps her mouth shut, clearly about to say something Not Nice, and takes a deep breath. She sighs, and asks much softer, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. What happened?" Kara pushes herself up from where she's laying to discover her head had been resting in Lena's lap. She spends half a second considering if it would be weird to lay right back down.

"You hit the pain limit and blacked out."

"Wow. Didn't know that was a thing," Sara muses, and Kara notices her standing next to Lena.

"Probably because most people-" Lena throws a pointed look at Kara. "-aren't stupid enough to walk around with their pain sliders up all the way."

" _All_  the way? Are you really okay?" Sara asks, her normally glib voice actually alced with concern. Kara's staring at her arms, wiggling her fingers and clenching and unclenching her fists, trying to clear the tingling in her limbs. The pinpricks of pain over her body are frustratingly familiar, but she can move at least, so she shrugs and lets her hands rest in her lap.

"Yep," Kara says, and she's not lying when she adds,"All normal."

"What are you doing here?" Lena demands. Immediate worry now relieved, Lena does not look pleased, though if it's from the fight or Kara's appearance, who can tell. Probably a bit of both.

"I wanted to talk to you again." Kara turns to Lena, whose face is still close enough to be unnerving. But in a good way. Enchanting. Captivating. Mesmerizing.

"So you followed me to secret backroom cage fights?"

"Um. The finding you here sounds creepier when you say it that way." Kara admits.

"Oh good, you realize that."

Kara pushes on. "But assuming you're not too weirded out by that part, do you maybe want to hang out again?"

"'Hang out'," Lena repeats, incredulous.

"What we were doing last time. Talking and dancing and- um-" Kara feels her face get hot.

"Kissing?" Lena shakes her head. "No."

"Look. I know that was-awkward last time. But you kissed me, I jumped in the fight-can't we say we're both kind of impulsive about the other and call it even? Start over?"

Lena snorts. "Those are not equivalent. I kissed you because you were  _flirting with me_. You, meanwhile, tracked me down at a secret fight club _,_ showed up unannounced, and then jumped in front of taser strong enough to take down an elephant."

"Well, when you put it that way," Sara mutters.

"It's not that big of a deal." Kara rubs the back of her head, embarrassed.

Lena plows on, growing steadily more upset. "Kara, you're not supposed to be able to have your pain settings up all the way. The blacking out-that's not supposed to happen. You could have been hurt. For  _real._ "

"I didn't mean to be so dramatic. I was just trying to get her to stop."

"You're a terrible liar, Kara," Lena accuses. Her voice gets tight and low and  _angry._  "You risked your life, and you  _knew_ you were risking your life. Just to, what, guilt me-?"

Kara frowns. "Okay, okay, fine. I let her hit me instead of you. But I'm not trying to-to make you owe me or something. I saw her gonna hit you with some kind of stupid secret agent nonsense and I just thought, well, I'd rather it be me than you."

Lena stares. The anger fades away, replaced by confusion. "What?"

"I think the sentence you're looking for is  _thank you_ ," Sara remarks wryly from where she's standing off to the side.

"Sara!" Kara scolds. Her companion raises her hands, mutters,  _I'm just sayin!_ Kara shakes her head, focuses back to Lena.

"Why would you think that?" Lena asks, gentler than before. But it's not reprimanding. There's a kind of wonder in her voice, and she regards Kara with something like awe.

"I don't know," Kara says slowly. "I just... did. There wasn't any motive. I didn't think, like 'oh, if I get electrocuted maybe she'll talk to me!' I… I just didn't want you to get hurt."

Lena is quiet for a moment. When she speaks, she's got her eyes trained on the ground and says in a measured voice, "Thank you. I  _am_  grateful. And flattered. I'm not used to people sticking up for me."

"Buying someone a drink is a good way to say thank you," Sara adds.

"Is she always like this?" Lena smirks. Kara groans, presses a palm to her forehead.

"Yes."

There's a crashing sound, and they all look to see someone sliding off the fence where Veronica's just thrown them across the ring.

"Maybe we can move this conversation somewhere less, uh, fight-y?" Kara suggests. Lena chuckles, getting to her feet, and holds out a hand to Kara.

"How about L's? I'll buy you that drink."

/

Sara elects to stay at Roulette's -  _good luck, tiger,_  she whispers to Kara with a wink, and all but pushes the two out the front door.

Kara's about to break the silence when her right foot catches on a crack in the asphalt and she topples forward.

The ground rushes at her face, then abruptly halts as her right arm is yanked back. The combined force on her limbs swings her towards Lena, who snags an arm around her waist and catches her,

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Kara assures before Lena can ask, disentangling from Lena's hands with a bright blush across her face. "Just clumsy."

"Are you sure?"

"Please, from the fight? That thing was nothing!" Kara awkward laugh trails off when she realizes how saying  _being electrocuted was nothing!_ implies  _I have experienced things worse than military-grade tasers here let me tell you all about them,_ so she grapples for another subject. Her brain manages to come up with a very eloquent: "Nice catch. You're strong."

Lena scoffs. "I'm really not."

"Okay, but the fighting. That's not the kind of thing you just pick up on a trip to San Junipero. Like, that leg-feint punch thing? Where'd you learn that?"

"The Superman punch?" Lena asks.

Kara's brain short-circuits at the unexpected mention of her cousin. "I-it-what? Superman?"

Lena demonstrates, lifting one leg, then snapping it back and thrusting with the same arm. She ends with one first extended in front of her and one leg sticking straight back, and indeed, it resembles Kal-El in flight.

"Muay Thai was Mercy's specialty. My self-defense coach," Lena explains. "I trained with her until I left Metropolis for National City."

"Hey wait, I lived in National City!" Kara starts, and they slip into easy conversation, dropping familiar names and places.

"Do you remember when Cat Grant-"

"-interviewed Max Lord? He didn't show his face in public for months!""

"How about when President Baker-"

"-stopped the Daxamites-"

"The Flash-"

"-fighting Silver Banshee-"

"Best coffee-?"

"-definitely Noonan's-"

Their walk through town is peaceful. Lena hovers close to Kara, who's still walking a bit shaky, but manages not to fall again. The journey passes in a blur of laughing and finishing each other's sentences.

They settle in with drinks back at L's. Kara doesn't feel like sitting at the bar and getting smug glances from Alexander all night, so after shouting their drink orders over some Florida Georgia Line song that isn't completely awful, she steers them to a booth and a little more privacy.

"Soooo," Kara starts after a beat of silence. "Can I ask about your pain slider?"

Lena is silent for a few moments, and Kara feels the cold rush of anxiety at the thought that she's pushed too hard already. "That was rude-"

"No, I don't mind. I'm just trying to think how to explain it." Lena stares into her glass, contemplative. "I like to actually feel what I'm doing. I know this place is a party town, but I feel so much more normal here than at home. And-I want to feel things the way they're supposed to be. Good and bad."

"Normal," Kara echoes. "I get that."

"Also," Lena's voice has a teasing lilt to it now, and Kara is intoxicated by it. "I truly didn't have mine up all the way."

"Mmhmm," Kara hums sarcastically. Lena laughs.

"Really! It's an 8."

"Eight out of ten," Kara scoffs. "Oh, very cautious, Miss Luthor."

Lena stiffens. Kara winces, amends, "Sorry-Lena."

Lena's eyes flick up to Kara, studying her for a reaction. "You know then?"

"I-my friend Sara guessed it. It doesn't mean anything to me though. I mean, it means something-you mean something to me-you-I just, I've heard the name before!" Kara finally manages to end her string of incoherent phrases. She tries to salvage what she can. "But I don't know anything else about you. Like, literally nothing."

"There's not much to know," Lena says lightly, guarded. "You know about my brother's mad breakdown and vendetta against Superman, yes?" Kara nods. "You also know about my mother trying to kill all the aliens on earth and eventually ending up in jail too?" Another nod. "There you go, caught up." Lena sinks back into the plush of the booth and takes a long pull from her scotch.

"Okay, but what about you?" Kara asks gently.

"What about me? I lived the rest of my life under the radar-or, as under the radar as one can get when their family collectively has more convictions than the rest of Stryker Island put together. Somehow, there was enough of the company left to pass to me, and I did my best to run it and dodge assassination attempts."

"The company? But I never heard anything about Luthor Corp after Lex fought Ka-Superman."

Lena pauses, and Kara freezes. Too big of a slip? But Lena seems to have been gathering herself, "I renamed it to L-Corp."

Kara's eyes light up. "You make all that cool alien tech! Oh my gosh. That's you!"

Lena sits up a bit straighter in the booth, and grins at Kara's enthusiasm. "Most of the alien-compatible devices are my design, yes. Image inducer, universal translator, hormone regulators. I have to admit, that's not the reaction I usually get."

"Well, it should be! What you do for us is amazing. I can't believe I'm actually meeting you. Would it be weird to ask for an autograph?" Kara laughs. Lena seems puzzled, though. "Okay, too much, I just can't-"

The last several second catch up to Kara. The end of her sentence trails off in a guilty  _ohhhhh._ Her mouth hangs open as the scene replays in her head and Kara realizes she just  _outed herself_. Her breath hitches and heart hammers away. A lifetime of training to hide was just upended by one beautiful -  _very_  beautiful. And kind. And charming and-okay, not the point! Life! Upended!

"I-" Kara stammers. Her mind feebly runs through ways to salvage the situation. Run? Pull a fire alarm? Kara's panicking. She can't even bear to take in Lena's reaction. Until there's a gentle touch on her skin.

"Hey. Kara. It's okay." Lena's hand finds hers across the table, and squeezes reassuringly. Kara jolts at the contact, but when she sees their hands linked together, she doesn't pull away. The pressure helps ground her, and some of the wide-eyed panic fades. Lena smiles, rubs a thumb across Kara's knuckles. "I know I've got the name, but I'm not my brother. It's okay. I promise."

Kara's eyes are still not entirely focused, but she finds enough of a voice to ask. "Really?"

"Really." Lena assures. "I'm curious - is this what you really look like? Or, well, you know what I mean."

Kara nods, and answers, voice small. "My people look human. There are very few people who actually know that I'm-not."

"That sounds lonely." Lena murmurs, looking at Kara like she's finally found someone who understands. "Full disclosure, I'm not entirely sure being Luthor counts as human."

That gets a chuckle out of Kara, and she seems to come back to herself. Lena smiles a bit. "Maybe your ancestors didn't grow up on Earth, but you're a hell of a lot more human than most I've dealt with."

"Yeah? Thanks." Kara looks down to their linked hands and inhales sharply. Lena notices the flicker of her eyes, the blush, the apprehension-

"Sorry," Lena snaps, pulling her hand back. "I'm sorry, I think this was a bad idea." She pushes out of the booth. Kara panics for the second time in as many minutes and leaps up after her.

"Lena, wait!"

"You're wonderful, Kara. Truly. But this is getting too complicated, and I have enough of that at home. We're not on the same page here, and I can't-"

"I want you to kiss me this time!" Kara blurts.

Lena stops. Kara stares at her back for several agonizing seconds. Lena turns so, so slow, til their eyes just meet. Her mouth has fallen open in a perfect little 'o' and Kara sucks in a nervous breath and repeats,

"I-I want you to kiss me. Last time, that was what you asked me. If I wanted you to kiss me. Well I do."

Lena's mouth twitches like she's going to say something but she's trying to work out exactly what that is. "Why?" She finally breathes.

Kara chances a step closer, and far from backing away, Lena seems to drift towards her as well. "I'm sorry I jumped away before. I don't react well to surprises. It was just an impulse reaction."

"Your impulse was to jump away. And you want to do it again?"

"It wasn't because it was bad-! I just-" Kara fumbles. "I'm used to-not kissing. Not just girls. That was how I usually react to anyone." She closes with a sad, forced laugh, and her eyes drop down, away from Lena's piercing gaze. Maybe this was a dumb idea. Maybe she's already hurt Lena's feelings beyond repair.

A faint touch on her cheek draws her eyes back up. Lena's hand traces her face and Kara can scarcely breathe.

"I'm going to kiss you. Okay?" Lena murmurs, drawing herself into Kara's space, wrapping the other arm around her waist and brushing their noses together. Kara feels a rush of warmth and affection, and manages to whisper  _yes, please_  so Lena can close the gap.

The anxiety in her chest tightens one last time. But Lena's gentle hand on her face, her soft lips and tender, slow kiss ease the remnants of Kara's fear. The alien presses back, gaining confidence as Lena wraps them tighter together, fists her hand in Kara's shirt and runs the other into her hair and loses herself in the glorious feeling of their bodies pressed close.

The DJ hollers "five minutes!" over the last few beats of staccato piano chords and  _we turnin' it up._  The song ends, the lights blare to full brightness, and the crowd roars in disappointment. The combined stimuli are finally enough for Lena to notice the world around them, and pull back. Kara chases after her a few inches before catching herself.

"Good?" Lena queries. Kara blinks off the haze.

"Oh wow. Very." Lena smirks, and Kara blushes furiously. She doesn't mean to sound so… so… naive, but well, she certainly feels it next to this confident, brazen, goddess.

"Do you want to keep going?"

" _Yes_ ," Kara nods seriously, and Lena lets out unexpected laughter. It's light and carefree and genuine. Kara thinks she could live on just the sound of it for the rest of her life.

"Sorry, you just-" Lena chuckles. "You're so honest. I love it."

There's nothing but sincerity in her words. Kara feels a rush of daring. "Time's up today, but next week? Meet me here. I'll take you to my house."

This was it. Kara feels her pulse hammering, surprised at how bold she could be. Lena nods after a moment.

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll be right here."

"Make it December. I want to show you the Christmas decorations."

"Alright. Next Saturday night, December 2018."

Kara leans in with messy eagerness, and Lena is only too happy to meet her halfway, running her hands along that strong jaw, into long blonde hair that's just as soft as she imagined it-

12:00

* * *

One Week Later

Kara's leaning against the wall of L's, humming along to  _they tell me think with my head, not this thing in my chest_  on the tinny speakers in the overhang. It's a bit cooler, enough that Kara's got a jacket covering her sculpted arms, which momentarily calms Lena then immediately sends her pulse hammering at the thought of taking the jacket off-

"You okay?" Kara chuckles when Lena reaches her, still a bit wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Lena blinks her way out of the trance and smiles back.

"Never better." And she means it. Kara pushes from the wall and starts to lead them down the street. Lena examines the street for a nearby vehicle, but nothing.

"We're walking?"

"I don't like cars much. And, uh," Kara stutters and blushes, and Lena can't figure out why until she feels fingers gently threading through hers and sees Kara's joined their hands. "If we walk I can do this."

Lena snorts. She doesn't quite have the words to reply to such a - corny -

"I mean. If this is-okay?" Kara quickly adds, interrupting Lena's internal laughter. Her amusement is replaced by a rush of affection, and she brings their joined hands to her lips, presses a soft kiss to Kara's knuckles.

"This is very okay."

Kara blushing is one of the most charming things Lena thinks she's ever seen.

They stroll through the town, past other bars, lounges, cafes, houses. The buildings and side streets dwindle until it's just them on a two-lane road through the desert. They talk easily the whole time, mostly about nothing important - the best year for music, just how bad Kara is at driving, the first time Lena kissed a girl. Their favorite parts of the country. Mountains, for Lena. Beaches, for Kara.  _Lucky you,_ Lena remarks, gesturing to the coastline.

Kara tells her of the family she grew up in after - well,  _after_. She talks about her older sister, Alex, and how much they hated each other at first. And how utterly devoted they were to each other after. Lena nods in genuine understanding. The women talk about everything and nothing like they've known each other for two years and not two nights.

A dusty trail branches off from the paved main road and Kara tugs Lena along. The trail slopes gently upward and then descends to the beach. Lena gasps when they crest the hill, as the horizon falls away and the sky becomes endless.

It's not dark like she expected when they leave the street lamps - out here, the stars aren't just the occasional pinpricks of light swallowed up in their black canvas. It's a sparkling collage of whites and neon blues. The constellations burn bright and huge, their gaps filled in with infinite more stars than she could fathom in one view.

"It's so beautiful."

Kara's hand grips tight, and the pressure is reassuring. "It is."

But there's something aching in Kara's voice, and it pulls Lena's gaze from the heavens above to the star-shine woman she's holding onto. Kara picks her way through the trail, guiding Lena this way and that so she keeps her footing on the uneven terrain. Lena's free to study Kara's face as she keeps her eyes on the ground underfoot, to study the way the edges of her mouth twitch up when she glances at the sky, the way her head shakes just a bit at it, like there's some kind of cosmic joke Lena's missed.

They walk in comfortable silence until Lena hears something familiar and altogether unwelcome. She stops, and Kara doesn't notice til their linked hands pull her up short. She turns over her shoulder.

"Lena?"

But Lena's started walking again. "I'm fine." She goes two steps and halts, feeling the burn of Kara's gaze on herself.

The worry on Kara's face is so tender. "Really," Lena insists. But Kara keeps on looking at her with such care, Lena admits, reluctantly, "I'm not fond of the ocean."

Kara regards her, still so gently, but doesn't press the issue. "We're almost to the house," Kara promises. "Hang in there."

The sight of the house is enough to distract Lena's from  _many_  oceans. It was amazing how Kara could surprise her with a lit-up house at night, where by all accounts it should be easily visible. But they trail approaches from behind a dune, and when they come round the bend, suddenly the shadowy sand is replaced with lights. So many lights. The blonde laughs at Lena's shocked face.

"I- It's-" Lena is at a loss for words. "How do you even  _get_  Christmas lights in San Junipero?"

The low sloping roof and sides of house are covered entirely in shimmering webs of blue-white lights. Icicle strands hang from the gutters, blazing steady over a twinkling backdrop. It's like she's taken the sky and put it on her house.

"Worth the walk?"

"Hmm," Lena isn't going to let her off the hook that easily. "We'll see how the rest of this goes."

Kara blushes.

For all her embarrassment though, Kara single-mindedly pulls her over the threshold and through the rooms without so much as a nod to the Christmas tree blazing in the living room, or the mistletoe tacked up in the kitchen. She wordlessly leads Lena to the bedroom - but having arrived, she halts.

Kara's expression is hard to read in the darkness, but Lena can hear her short, quick breathing. She's nervous.

"It's um. Been a long time. A long time. And-never-with a woman."

Lena reaches a hand to that beautiful face, traces the curve of her jaw and presses a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth. Kara exhales a shaky breath and leans into Lena's body. Their lips meet, and far from unsure and scared, Kara melts into her.

/

They lay side by side hours later, fitted together perfectly. Kara's hand traces lazy circles on Lena's cheek, while Lena keeps arms wrapped tight around Kara's waist. Their clothes are scattered about the room - Lena chuckles at the thought of her Versace unceremoniously flung on the floor.

"Lena," Kara whispers. "I gotta tell you something."

"Hmm?" Lena murmurs, half-asleep, from where her head is tucked under Kara's chin.

"Me. Who I am in real life."

"Shhh," Lena shushes. "This is real too."

"Lena. Please. I-I should have told you already." Kara pulls her head away and Lena reluctantly looks up now that there's space between them.

"Hey. It's alright," Lena soothes, rubbing Kara's back where her hands are folded into it.

"You mentioned Superman before-I-well-he's my cousin. I'm Kryptonian."

Lena blinks.

Pulls her hands away. Props herself up on one elbow to get a better look at Kara. Kara, who wants to hide her face under the covers like a child at the sudden intense scrutiny.

"I'm sorry," Kara stammers. "It's not-it doesn't really matter here, I don't have powers here, but I just like to be-normal, you know? And there's kind of government rules about it still-"

"You saved me." Lena breathes, continues with growing excitement. "I never knew-but I saw you, it was you."

Kara stares. "Wait, what did I do?"

Lena's face falls. "You-don't remember me?" Kara shakes her head. Lena pushes herself up to sitting. "How about now?"

Kara blinks, Lena sort of-flickers-and now she's staring at burn scars and prosthetic limbs. The recognition hits her like a ton of kryptonite. " Oh."

Kara remembers all those years ago, seeing the fight on the news. Remembers how Kal-El had to come all the way across country to National City to fight off a bunch of drones. Remembers watching a helicopter crash into the bay. Diving into the water when no one else was around. Pulling the helicopter out, pulling the people out of the wreckage, watching a struggling heartbeat where no life should have been left in a broken, half-drowned, mangled body.

Kara remembers running away at the sound of sirens, leaving someone dying on the dock. Only now Kara fits Lena's face onto the nameless person she pried out of the wreckage, and terror grips her. Cold, blind terror.

"You saved me," Lena says at the same time Kara whispers, "I couldn't save you."

"Is that how you think of it?" Lena wonders.

Kara ducks her head, guilty. That was  _Lena_. "I didn't get you out in time. If I'd gone out sooner-if I hadn't been so worried about hiding all this time-"

"Kara," Lena says so serious that Kara quiets instantly. "You saved my life."

But the Kryptonian shakes her head, still unwilling to meet Lena's gaze. "I saw you fall. I saw the crash. I could have stopped it."

A gentle touch wipes away the tears already fallen. Kara raises a head to Lena cradling her face, soothing her. Lena repeats, "You saved my life."

A sob breaks, unbidden, and Kara puts her hand over Lena's own. She can feel panic rising -she could have saved Lena - Lena could have died - she might never have met her - they might have met so much sooner- but the forest green of Lena's eyes slowly calms her, til the tears are silent again.

"Are you okay?" Lena chuckles. "I have to admit, I didn't expect you to be the one crying."

Kara nods into Lena's hand on her face. She doesn't trust herself to speak without crying, and just pulls Lena in close for their last few minutes.

"Can I come see you? In person?" Kara's voice is hushed in reverence.

Lena doesn't answer at first. Her heart hammers away beyond her control. But she thinks of Kara, if I hadn't worried about hiding- and she takes a deep breath. "It's so much worse in person. You wouldn't like me."

"You think I care about that? Please. I want to see you."

"Okay," Lena whispers, wrapping herself once more around Kara. They close their eyes and hold tight for as long as-

12:00

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music references too much? I love how the music sets the scene in San Junipero so I might have obnoxiously worked a ton of songs into the rest of this fic. But if you hate em, let me know and I can tone it down a bit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read before, there are some minor updates since I posted this last Christmas. Enjoy these clueless lesbians attempting to overcome their cluelessness!

Kara lays still in the vast, empty bed, just listening to the alarm chirping next to her. Finally she opens her eyes, heavily lined with sleep and age and so much loss. She looks at the timer and sighs. 12:00.

"Aunt Kara?" A timid voice asks from the doorway. Kara pushes herself up in bed, limbs creaking in protest.

"I'm back," Kara replies, holding out a hand to her niece. "You don't have to stay up for me every time, Laura."

"I promised mom I'd take care of you," the woman smiles. Kara mirrors the action, but her heart is cracking at the reference to her sister. So Kara smiles, and nods, and swallows down the tightness in her throat.

Morning sun floods the room through the skylight and the wide bay window. Alex bought the house almost entirely for this room. For Kara. Every morning, the Kryptonian feels the gentle flow of yellow sun in her veins.

Kara lays still and listens to the sounds of the house. Her niece, one floor below, pouring water in a coffeemaker. Wind swinging the chimes on the porch. Waves on the beach down the trail. Old-house timbers creaking. The bird that's nested in the gutter and she hasn't had the heart to dislodge yet.

Kara rises, stretches in the sunlight. Her heart stutters as she loosens her joints, and in them, the trace bits of Kryptonite that are slowly killing her. She coughs, and stays very still.

The moment passes. Kara cracks her neck and goes downstairs to tell Laura where she's going for the day.

/

Kara doesn't look old exactly. In human years, perhaps 30, 40. But she's been on the earth double that, and feels it deep in her bones. The Kryptonite gnaws at her insides despite her youthful face. The sun works magic on her, but even magic has rules and limits. The DEO had explained that to her very clearly, when they offered her relief from the constant, perpetual burn of Kryptonite inside of her. Some days she feels very ready to take them up on their offer. 100 years was a good long life. Some days she very much wants to give up, to meet the afterlife head-on.

But today, she traces the lid of a matte black box. It's only about the width of her hand and the length of a pencil. Indiscrete enough that she could take it with her in a suitcase, or even a jacket pocket. Alex had it made for her. "Just in case," she'd said matter-of-factly. She'd been right. She was always right.

Kara flips the latch, and nestled in the sturdy plastic is blue and red synthetic fabric, packed impossibly tight because, government funding. She pulls on the boots and clips on the cape. The house of El crest overwhelms her when she looks in the mirror. There's no physical way it could be dusty, but the blue and red look dull and muted to her. Like it knows she hasn't worn it in years, but still couldn't bear to throw it out.

Kara had woken to an email with latitude and longitude coordinates and one sentence: 'ask for Sam'. Pushing open the skylight window in her bedroom, Kara peeks around for any passersby, and shoots off into the morning light.

The coordinates take her to the East coast, which makes sense since Metropolis and Luthors and all. In her youth, the flight might've taken an hour. Today she spends the whole morning, and touches down again around noon.

Hmm, she forgot to warn Lena the appetite of a hungry Kryptonian.

The house is smaller than she expected. And also visible to the naked eye. If memory served, Luthor mansion had some near-alien cloaking tech. Kara marches up to the gate-at least there's  _some_  kind of security-and, with her best smile for the security camera mounted on the wall, pushes the buzzer.

The response is delayed, and when a voice finally answers, it's sleepy and confused, like no one's had to answer it in a while. "Hello?"

"I'm here to see Lena."

"No visitors, sorr-  _holy-_  " there's a series of thuds and curse words from the speaker. After a burst of static, the voice on the other end returns, clearing his throat, "This is unexpected."

"I was told to ask for Sam."

"You-" Kara can practically see the startled security guard, trying to process the information. Literally, she squints at the building to see if she can pick out the guard room. But before she places it, a buzzer sounds and the gates click open. "Come on in. Not like the gates do much against you anyway."

* * *

"Super...woman?" a woman in a sharp business suit greets Kara at the door. "Lena told me to expect you."

"The papers usually go with Super- _girl_ , but whatever floats your boat. You're Sam?" Kara eyes the stern-looking brunette. She looks old enough to have been in San Junipero herself, but the handshake she gives is firm.

"Sure am. Sam Arias. This way." They walk through the halls together. "Lena told me about it this morning. She doesn't meet many people, well, ever, so I'm real glad you two hit it off."

Kara's voice gets very high-pitched. "Um. Did she tell you how we met, then?"

Kara could swear that Sam smirks, but her voice stays light. "Oh, something like you got drinks together last week? In San Junipero."

"Mmmhmm," Kara agrees quickly, praying to Rao that they can move onto another topic.

Sam opens a door to a sterile white room. "I'd say wash up, but… it's kind of a moot point now." There's a variety of medical machinery about, and in the center, a hospital bed.

Lena.

Kara is at her side in a moment. The bed shifts under the weight, and Lena stirs at the commotion. Kara grasps Lena's one good hand so, so gently, and receives pressure on it in response.

"Hey, you." Kara smiles at her. Lena blinks back up at her, and the side of her face not immobile from scarring lights up with as close to a smile as she can manage. Lena had told the truth.

It was much, much worse, than the version she revealed to Kara in San Junipero.

Both of her left limbs are prosthetic, skeletal, robotic-looking things, all wires and exposed bolts. They weren't designed to blend in. Her left side ends at the shoulder, her leg… Kara does a quick x-ray squint to see that the metal foot extends up to her left knee. She's fitted with a breathing tube, but an oxygen mask is close at hand off to the side. Burn scars claw their way up her neck onto her face, blotches of mottled skin and angry red lines.

Kara thinks she's still the most beautiful person she's ever seen. They stand together for a few minutes, before Lena's eyes droop.

Sam puts a hand on Kara's shoulder. "She could use the rest. Talk with me?"

Reluctant, Kara releases Lena's hand and follows Sam out.

/

"She'd just moved to National City when the crash happened. She was 24. Almost 50 years ago." Sam starts. They've settled in a nearby room and someone's brought coffee and copious amounts of breakfast pastries, which Kara munches on as unobtrusively as possible, but hey, cross-country flight!

"After, she was determined to be mobile again. You can see the prosthetics. She managed to get back on her feet, literally, in a year. But she also helped patent the prosthetic designs, so, no wonder.

I was her right hand at L-Corp - insisted more than ever on keeping the new company name, after that was the thing Lex attacked her about. I oversaw the company while she was recovering, though damn if she didn't run the place from a hospital bed for a good six months.

She ran the place on a normal CEO schedule for quite a few years. I don't know how. Woman's got steel in her veins. No, uh, offense for borrowing the family nickname?"

"None taken," Kara promises. "Was being CEO too much for her - like this?"

Sam snorts. "Not Lena. At least, not the running the company part of it. Even with a third of her body blown off and replaced with prosthetics - she kept up the schedule. International flights every other week, board meetings, conferences, you name it. And she kept inventing. God, she's brilliant. No, it was the Luthor target on her back that did her in. You think even those corporate hounds would back off a disabled woman, but nope, just made her more appealing of a target if anything.

One of the quarterly assassination attempts hit too close to home, maybe, hmm, thirty years ago? She's been homebound since. Fell out of the public eye, which thankfully that also took the target off her back. I've been running L-Corp since, and she's been inventing from a hospital bed."

"So San Junipero must have been a really big deal for her," Kara muses. "Being able to plug into a world with such freedom and realism."

"Supergirl - she invented San Junipero." Sam taps her temple. "She's got a chip in her brain to communicate with a local network - basically, she's hooked up to the internet. She describes it as the screen being on the back of her eyelids? Damned if I know how it works. I'm finance person. But I can imagine how frustrating it must be to have so much information and access and still be so trapped."

Kara thinks of a pod in space. Trapped.

"Getting San Junipero approved as an Alzheimer's nostalgia treatment my idea. Partly because it was the best market to sell it and get the funding we needed, and partly because, how many other people are there like her, bedridden and alone? We might as well help them, too."

"Why the weekly time limit, if she's trapped in her body all the time?"

"FDA rules," Sam sighs. "And I get it - the ability to plug into a world from your youth, where you can do anything you want? Who would stay in the real world? Five hours a week was a lot lower than I was hoping for, but at least they approved full-time after death. Lucky you came to see her when you did."

Kara stops mid-bite of her sixth scone. She sets down the half-eaten piece and swallows, asks very slowly. "What?"

"Oh. She didn't tell you? She's passing over." Sam says casually, like Lena's forgotten to mention something trivial and not that she is scheduled to die. "Tomorrow."

"Why ?"

Sam raises an eyebrow. "She's bedridden, paralyzed, has no un-incarcerated family - hmm, I guess technically tomorrow I'll be family, but you get what I mean."

"Uh. You'll be family?"

"The legality of passing on the Luthor estate is complicated like you wouldn't believe. And all she wants to do is give it all away! It's so stupid, Anyway, it gets a whole lot easier if whoever she wants to pass it onto is a Luthor, and I never married, so I figured - what's the harm?"

Kara sits quiet for a minute."Do you think you could hook us up to the system right now?"

"What's the rush? She'll be there full-time once we finish everything tomorrow. You'll be able to see her as much as you want."

"I know, but - I really want to say something. Please?"

* * *

Lena, whole and unblemished, looks around the beach outside of Kara's San Junipero house. The sun is bright on the ocean, and she shields her eyes and turns back to the building. Kara's running out of the door.

"What's this all about then? You wanted to see the daylight version that badly?" Lena laughs at her.

"Sam told me everything," Kara says in a rush as she reaches Lena. "The accident, your life... you're passing over tomorrow?"

"Finally," Lena sighs. "They've been trying to get rid of me for long enough."

"Lena," Kara chastises, then takes a breath. "Give me a second."

Lena tilts her head, confused. Kara's eyes are shut, and she looks like she's practicing a speech under her breath. With a shaky nod, Kara blinks up at her.

"Okay. I'm going to say something crazy."

"I love crazy."

Kara's face lights up. "Hey, you made a Disney reference!"

"I'm learning," Lena smirks.

"You also quoted the villain, so it's not really appropriate for-okay, sorry, that's not point. Crazy. Something. Me saying it. You know what, I'm just-"

Kara drops to her knee.

"Sam seems great, really, and it's cool if you'd rather have her name on the certificate, but I promise I'll do whatever she tells me with the money-it just seemed like-well-if we're kind of sort of dating here anyway-maybe-"

"Yes," Lena breathes, and steals the rest of Kara's question with a deep kiss.

"You didn't let me finish," Kara jokes as they break apart.

"Took too long," Lena smirks, and then there's no more talking for several minutes.

"You couldn't have saved it for the honeymoon?" Sam sighs when Kara comes back. "Alright, I'll call the lawyers."

/

Sam insists that Kara stay at the house overnight. The cross-country trip took more out of the Kryptonian than she'd like to admit, so she doesn't put up much of a fight. Especially once it gets dark. Kara does wish she'd thought to bring other clothes, though Alex would probably frown on her showing her identity.

Kara visits Lena three more times throughout the day, while Sam starts preparing paperwork. Each time, Kara sits by the bed, gently stroking her hand and telling her stories from Krypton that haven't been spoken for a hundred years and fifty million light years.

They set her up in a guest room. The bed is soft. She doesn't float in her sleep much these days, and the comfort is most welcome. Kara dreams of the Jewel of Truth and Honor.

/

The next morning, four of them gather in Lena's room. A judge, to sign the marriage license; a doctor; Sam; Kara.

The judge recites a standard script of vows. Sam speaks for Lena, who's messaging to her while keeping her eyes on Kara all the while.

When the judge gets to their names, "Lena Kieran Luthor and Kara Danvers-"

"Kara Zor-El Danvers," The Kryptonian interrupts. Lena squeezes her hand. The judge clears her throat and corrects the name. At the very end, Kara produces a piece of paper she'd written up that morning. The judge examines it, looks back to Kara, surprised. The alien nods, and the judge speaks again with sudden emotion:

"In the name of truth and honor," she intones, and they all realize the significance of the Kryptonese vows. "I declare the marriage vows binding upon you. From this day forward, throughout all time and space, even unto eternity. Kara and Lena, you are made wives this day–and for all days hence. May the countenance of Rao ever shine on you."

Kara didn't make a bracelet, but if she had, the colors would be blue and green, she thinks, looking into Lena's loving eyes.

* * *

Lena wakes in Kara's beach house to music playing softly from a cell phone, lighting up a weathered wooden nightstand in the black -  _I want it this love, I-I want it real love -_

She sits up, running a hand - all five fingers, all working - through her hair - long, soft - and down the back of her neck - smooth, unscarred.

There's a pounding on the door. A voice calls her name from outside. Lena throws the sheets off, slides out of the bed and pads down the hall, under the kitchen mistletoe, and pushes open the back door.

Kara's clad in a stunning black jacquard suit with a silver and gold floral print. Her hair looks windswept from the ocean and absolutely perfect, framing her smiling face, a smile that fills Lena with warmth from the tips of her fingers down to her toes.

Clutched in Kara's hand is a bouquet of star-shaped blue flowers wrapped in white lace. She offers them to Lena who just stares.

"How did you know?"

"I'd like to make a joke about having psychic alien powers," Kara hands them over. "But they're actually the closest Earth equivalent to my favorite from my Krypton. You like?"

Lena takes the offered bouquet just to have space to throw her arms around Kara.

"I'll take that as a yes," Kara laughs. "You didn't dress up to see me?"

Lena looks down at her sleep-rumpled shorts and t-shirt. "Oh." When she looks back up, she's pushing a white veil out of her eyes. The white wedding dress is simple, sleeveless, the top hem clinging to her collarbone as if by magic. Kara seems to be trying to figure it out, judging by the way she eyes appreciatively.

"Like what you see, Miss Zor-El?"

The Kryptonian's face lights up, radiant, and Lena didn't know she could care this much about another person.

"It's been so long since I've heard that name."

"Kara Zor-El," Lena repeats, and the husk in her voice brings Kara close to kiss her again. Lena grabs the silky collar of the suit - and pulls Kara back into the house, holding the kiss all the while. They finally make use of that mistletoe. Or, well, does it count if they're already kissing before they get there?

* * *

They're walking along the beach later that evening, barefoot and kicking at the sand. Lena leans heavily into Kara, who half-carries her along.

"You okay?" Kara asks. "The ocean?"

"Hmm?" Lena wonders. "I'm very good. How can I be otherwise when I'm with you?"

"That was so," Kara laughs, searching for the right word. "So me."

"Guess you're rubbing off on me," Lena muses. "It's true though. You make me feel safe. Not afraid anymore."

"I'm glad." Kara presses a kiss into her hair, where they bodies fit together just right. "Promise you'll hold onto that feeling after I'm gone."

Lena stumbles.

Kara's hands are quick to catch her, but Lena shoves them off and lets herself drop to her knees in the sand. "What?"

Kara's stares at her, starry eyes full of concern. Lena feels pressure tight in her chest. Logically, she can breathe - or simulated breathing,whatever, but it certainly feels like she can't. Feels like all the air's disappeared with that one word, " _gone"_.

"Did I-" she stammers, as Kara kneels on the sand next to her. "Did I do something-"

"What?" Kara's eyes narrow in confusion for just a moment, then fly open when she comprehends what Lena's trying to say. "Wh-no!"

"No?" Lena echoes.

"No no no," Kara shushes, wrapping her arms around her wife. "No, Lena, it's not because of you. I love you so much. You're... Rao, you're amazing. I wish I had married you fifty years ago. I wish I had stayed on the dock that day I pulled you out of the water, stayed with you in the hospital, stayed by your side every moment for the next fifty years. And I'll stay here with you as long as I can." Kara continues with a hitch in her voice. "But I can't stay here with you forever. I have to pass over."

Lena feels like the clock's struck midnight and the dress has turned back into rags, that she's woken up in the prison that was her physical body. She's always been quick with a retort, but words fail her and all she manages to do is stammer "what?"

"I'm not going to live in San Junipero. When I die, that's it." Her eyes are downcast and her lips settle in an uncharacteristic frown. For all her wit, Lena just stares, uncomprehending.

"Why?" Lena manages to breathe. Her pulse hammers away in her chest, rushing blood drowning out the sounds of the ocean around them. "You-you married me." Hot anger creeps in around the edges of her disbelief. There's fire in her bones and she realizes it's betrayal from the one person she'd least expected.

Kara looks at her, pleading. "Lena."

"No." Lena's eyes blaze, reckless, and she shouts words she hasn't spoken for half a lifetime. "I love you. I  _love_  you. I gave you-everything. And you'd rather just… just die? Just go on into the ether where there's nothing, and that is preferably to staying here? Staying with me?"

"You don't understand," Kara whispers, the stars falling from her eyes.

"I understand plenty," Lena hisses. "You did this out of, what, pity? Boredom? I'm the first girl that showed you-"

"Stop!" Kara demands. "You don't know."

"Why, then?" Lena's hands fist at her sides. She stands, blazing with anger and needed to move, to do something.

Kara's eyes flash, hiding something deep and terrible and apt to destroy them both. Her jaw clenches and she turns her stormy gaze to Lena.

"When I was 13, I became one of two survivors of my entire planet."

Lena is very familiar with crushing, leaden grief, but she's not used to feeling it because of someone else. She feels herself sinking as Kara continues the story in a practiced voice.

"I guess you know the story of Superman, right? Same thing. Only he was a baby when we were sent. He didn't even know he was alien for so long. While I remember everything. They sent me to to Earth keep the memory of Krypton alive. To teach him, to pass it on to others. Instead, I landed late, he grew up human, and I had to hide everything alien about me.

I haven't gotten to live as Kara Zor-El in almost a hundred years."

Despite her own anger, Lena wants to reach out to Kara in her grief, to sweep her up and hold her tight, but Kara's taut muscles and blazing eyes clearly say  _stay away from me_.

"I'm sorry," Lena breathes, like the sound might shatter Kara, who doesn't seem to have heard, or doesn't care.

"At least here I don't have to hide powers, I don't have to control every moment. I'm not afraid I'm going to accidentally break a nose when we kiss or crack your ribs when I hug you. I feel normal. I feel like I did on Krypton, and that makes it all hurt a little bit less. Makes it feel a little more like home."

"You don't want to stay here… even though it's the only place you feel good?" Lena queries.

"Don't," Kara barks, head snapping up. Her eyes narrow and darken. "Don't you dare. "

"What? That's what you said."

"I'm all that's left. Krypton dies with me. Our culture, our traditions, our-language and rituals and any living memory of our planet dies with me. I'm the last testament. I'm the last one who will ever receive the rites of Rao. I don't think Rao intended us to plug into a virtual world for all of eternity. Believe me, we could have if we'd wanted to," Kara thinks of a matrix choosing life partners. "No, I have to be what Kal-El couldn't. I have to honor my parents, my family. I can't turn my back on them. They're all I have left."

"They're all?" Tears dot the corners of Lena's eyes. Kara feels herself about to cry, but she steels against it.

"You don't know," she whispers again. "You don't know what it was like after Alex died. She was the only thing that made me feel human."

"I don't know what it's like to lose a sibling," Lena bites back ferociously. Kara can't meet her eyes.

"He's still alive, isn't he?"

Lena looks like Kara's slapped her. "Fuck you."

"Yeah, well, same back at you. My sister is dead because of Lex Luthor's Kryptonite." Kara snorts, entirely unamused. "Ironic, right? I'm still alive, but turns out Kryptonite does hurt humans if they're exposed to it enough."

"Fuck  _you_ ," Lena repeats, the shock on her face twisting to anger.

"She spent her life protecting me. Keeping me hidden. Keeping me safe. She, with no powers, with no yellow sun to heal her, fought aliens and monsters and kept me, the superpowered nearly indestructible alien, hidden. And Lex - his followers found Kal-El, found the Fortress, found out about me. Rained Kryptonite down on everyone I knew, til it nearly killed me to be near them."

"So why did you-if I'm just another hated Luthor -"

"You're not!" Kara shouts, defending Lena with the same vehemence she denounces herself. "This isn't about your brother, or even you. If I had embraced who I was - if I had worn the El crest on my chest like Kal -" The black suit vanishes, and Kara is standing in the blue leotard and red cape and gold-trimmed S. "I've spent my whole life trying to fit in, trying to be human. Now that I'm dying from Kryptonite poisoning, I realize how much I regret every single second of it."

"Kara-"

"It's not just a family. It's an entire culture. An entire planet. You can't understand the weight of that, the crushing, paralyzing, oppressive weight of it." Kara stands, and her eyes are blazing with the light of dying stars. "I know it's late, but I won't abandon it. Not anymore."

She runs off, and her cape snaps in the wind, like a door slamming in Lena's face.

* * *

Kara runs.

The sun has dipped below the horizon, but the edges of the sky are still tinged pink, orange, and familiar, dying red. Kara runs along the beach, and when the sand makes her trip and fall, she rises a flowing deep-blue green skirt and white top embroidered with the crest of El, black flat shoes gripping the ground below her feet.

She runs over the dunes that remind her of a dead planet. Onto the empty pavement, listens to the slap of her footsteps and tries not to hear the voice of her mother telling her  _take care of Kal-El_.

She runs, and she runs, and she runs. Her lungs burn with surprising realism, but she never needs to stop, because there is no air. Because this is all fake. She has no powers here and yet she never tires.

A car approaches from the opposite direction, and she breaks from the road to a nearby trail to dodge it. Pausing, finally, she watches the car speed past, no regard for safety, because there's no danger.

A thought-

Did she ever lower her pain settings?

Kara runs back to the road, but the headlights are gone, and there's no one else around. She looks about at the wide, empty desert beyond the road. Turns to the crooked trail cutting through the uneven dirt ground. The path forks, one branch sloping downwards towards the beach, the other, less-used branch continuing only a short distance til it abruptly ends at a cliff. Beyond that is nothing but wider, emptier ocean to the horizon.

Kara stumbles off the asphalt onto the dusty path. Her feet quicken til she's running once more, down the hardly-worn path to the cliff and the ocean beyond.

* * *

Lena storms through the house. Her house now, she supposes. She's moved one prison to another, even though the entire world of San Junipero is at her disposal. The stupid cell phone on the nightstand is still playing music,  _after we were high and the love dope died_ -

Lena slams a fist into it.

-  _it was you, the pill I keep_ -

With a frustrated groan, she picks the thing up like a sensible adult and pauses the song.

She sinks into the bed, switches on the lamp. Looks around the room properly for the first time. It's full of welcoming, cozy clutter. Pictures line the walls - One, Kara, the face that she knows, standing close to a handsome girl her age in all black. Alex? Another photo, a child with her family. Lena picks this one up from its place on the wall.

Kara must be no more than 12. She's surrounded by three adults - father, mother, aunt, Lena presumes, from the women's identical faces. They look - orderly. But happy. There's a vast window and expansive city behind them, the horizon stretching into a red sky.

Lena traces the figures. She thinks of her own family, and wonders again, why did her mother do it?

Lena returns the picture to its place. Looks at the dozens of other photographs Kara has conjured from her memory and chosen to hang in her place of escape. Evidence of friends and family around her. Kara didn't have her parents, didn't have her culture, but she was loved. She had lived and loved and tried her best. Lena clicks off the lamp.

The back door creaks open. The sky is navy behind the brilliant array of stars. Lena wonders if she'll ever get tired of this view. Maybe Krypton's light is still in sight of Earth. Maybe Kara will watch down on her from wherever she ends up, after she passes on.

Lena lowers her eyes to the horizon, the water that merges with sky. The ocean isn't comforting, but it's not as scary as it once. Lena's not afraid she's going to walk in and never come out. Not anymore. She stares at it in sort of a trance, when something catches her attention. A patch of white against the dull gray waves. It moves slowly, jerkily towards the beach. Lena narrows her eyes a moment, confused, until she comprehends the shape, and sprints towards it.

* * *

The waves pound at her back as they break, pull at her feet as the rush back into the ocean depths. Kara struggles towards the shore, still spluttering and coughing out salt water. A heavy wave shoves her off-balance and she pitches face-first into the water once more.

The world goes quiet for a moment. Kara only hears muted ocean as she sinks, too tired to fight anymore.

Then arms grab around her waist and haul her upright, and the quiet breaks into a cacophony of crashing waves, her own ragged coughing, a worried voice saying "I've got you" over and over. Someone tugs her hand over their shoulder, and they stagger back to shore.

Kara sinks into the sand, water still lapping at her feet, water still trickling out of her mouth and nose as she spits out what's still left in her lungs. She blinks until her vision clears, and Lena comes into focus, nervous and scared.

Kara doesn't know what to expect. Her mind echoes ' _you don't understand'_ and ' _fuck you'_  and she doesn't know why Lena would come after her, why she's looking at her with such concern.

Kara braces for Lena to leave, to yell at her, but Lena just sits at arms length, like she's waiting for some cue. As the chill of the night air sinks in, Kara shivers, but realizes that her hands are warm and looks down to see Lena's clasping hers tight.

Kara tugs at their linked hands, a pleading look on her face, still unable to speak for coughing. But Lena understands and pulls them together. Wraps one arm around Kara's waist and the other around her head. Kara clings to her, forehead pressed in the curve of Lena's shoulder, shaking and crying.

"Listen to me, Kara," Lena whispers, and her strained voice cracks. Tears track down her cheeks. "It's not your fault."

She says it again and again. Even after Kara's coughing finally quiets. Even after Kara nods into her shoulder and murmurs the same back at her. She says it til her throat is too tight with emotion she can't speak anymore, and they sit silently clutching each other on the sand, both shivering from the damp and ocean wind but unwilling to let go.

Kara picks her head up. Her eyes are red and watery, and she closes them quickly. Kara presses their foreheads together and pleads, "Lena, I-"

Lena lurches forward, her arms wrapped around nothing but night air.

/

Kara wakes gasping, the sheets scrunched in her fingers the way Lena's shirt had been. She's back in the dim room of Alex's house. The sound of socked feet  _thumping_  on the wooden floor grows louder til Laura pushes the door open, takes one look at Kara out of breath and tear-stained, and crosses to the bed.

Kara struggles to sit up, and Laura grasps behind her and helps her get upright. The screen on her wrist reads 12:00.

"Aunt Kara?"

Kara pushes gently at the hands around her, and her niece releases her to shift herself into a more comfortable sitting position. Silence blankets them. Laura seems to sense there's something coming, and she waits patiently for Kara to gather her thoughts.

"What would Alex say?" Kara's voice is hoarse, or maybe just tight with emotion. The younger woman threads their hands together.

"Mom would be proud that you found love again."

* * *

The next morning, Kara unpacks the cape and the suit once more. If only Kal-El were here to see her. She pulls up her boots and sets her glasses on the nightstand for the last time.

Laura's leaning on the kitchen counter, clutching a piece of paper and struggling over the Kryptonian phrases written on it. Kara crosses to her, hugs her gently and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"Thank for you doing this."

"Thank me after I learn how to say this," Laura jokes. Kara sees her sister in those sharp eyes and smirk. "Uncle J'onn is going to meet us at the DEO anyway - are you sure he can't read the funeral rites? I'm going to butcher it."

"It's supposed to be a female member of the house-and, I want it to be you," Kara smiles. She looks to the window and the sun just on the horizon.

"I'll meet you there," Kara tells her. "I have a stop to make first."

She's gone out the door in a blur of blue and red.

/

Kara probably should have called Stryker Island before landing in full superhero regalia. But she has to admit, the fuss they make is pretty funny.

After a lot of whispered conversations that she can completely hear because everyone apparently forgot what Superman's powers were in the years he's been gone, they finally let Kara in to see Lex Luthor, who, Kara suddenly realizes, is her brother-in-law, and in prison he has managed to outlive every member of both sides of the family. Kara wastes no time on pleasantries.

"I married your sister."

"Well," he remarks casually. "I have to hand it to you, I wasn't expecting that."

"You're dead to me," she says. "You've killed so many innocent people. So many people that I've loved. Kal-El. Alex. You're nothing. You're less than nothing."

"But despite all of that, somehow, Lena manages to be the best thing on this earth. I'll never know you like she did, but I know about loving and losing siblings. So I'll say this for her, because she's never going to see you ever again.

Your sister still loves you."

Kara can't stand the smug look on his face a moment longer and she turns her back on him. She expects a witty retort, but nothing, and she glances back to see a sad old man left sitting behind the table.

The last member of the house of El flies into the sky, feels the yellow sun on her tired bones. Does a few loops, and lets the wind breeze over her body, and drinks in the feeling of freedom on earth.

* * *

It's a clear morning by the ocean in San Junipero.

Lena wiggles her toes into the beach, letting the sand work its way over her skin. A wave laps at her buried feet, but now her heart doesn't race in her chest, her breath doesn't catch in her throat. Lena gazes out over the calm ocean and the vibrant blue sky.

She woke up that morning pain-free for the first time in fifty years. Her eyes close, and she drinks in the tickle of wind on her body. The ocean splashes in a steady beat. Gulls squawk. Then-something rumbles faintly on the edges of her hearing.

Lena blinks, turns to the house. A familiar car swings into the driveway, motor growling its presence. Lena holds her breath. As she digs her feet out of sand, she tries to school her racing pulse and the fervent hope that's snatched hold of her.

The car engine cuts off. There's a faint beat of music, and then abruptly the volume cranks up and Lena can easily make out the words  _ohh you and me we got big reputations_  as she races across the beach and up the stairs.

The dune blocks the view of the house as Lena pounds up the hillside. All she sees is the sandy slope and wooden stairs. The beat of the music blurs with her heartbeat-  _I can't let you go_ ,  _your handprint's on my soul-_ til the latch of a car door cuts off the song. A rapid  _ding ding ding_ telling a forgetful driver to take the keys out of the ignition. Lena leaps up the last three steps as the keys jangle, and when she crests the hill, there's Kara.

She's leaning on the open car door, keys in one hand, flowers in the other, mouth open and wide-eyed like a criminal caught in the act.

Lena doesn't know why her feet won't move. The outside sounds fade and all she hears is own pulse hammering, her blood rushing. The wooden railing digs splinters into her hands, but Lena can't manage to do anything other than grip it tighter and pray that this isn't an illusion.

Kara's open mouth works silently, trying to compose words. She closes the car door, stand up tall, clears her throat.

"I, um, wanted to surprise you," Kara starts, fidgeting nervously with the stems of the flowers. "I mean, I guess I did - but it was more romantic in my head, I was gonna knock on the door and be kneeling and apologize-"

Her words break the trance; Lena rushes to her with enough force to tackle. She has one glimpse of Kara's shocked face before arms wrap around and catch her. Kara holds on, but, forgetting about the lack of super strength, she doesn't brace with enough force, stumbles, and falls backwards. They land in a heap lying on the ground. The flowers tickle Lena's ear, but she makes no move to leave Kara's strong embrace.

"Is this a mad hug? Or a happy hug?" Kara asks, nervous, into Lena's neck. In response, Lena lifts her head to stare right into those ocean eyes. Kara looks so fragile in her worry. Lena untangles one arm from Kara's and gently traces the anxious lines on her face. They smooth away under Lena's touch, and Kara's tight frown relaxes into an easy smile. Kara raises her head and Lena meets her for a kiss, the hand on Kara's cheek sliding back to tangle in her hair. The kiss is awkward; Kara can't move all that well, pinned to the ground, and when she tries to readjust to fit their mouths together better, all she manages to do is knock her nose into Lena's. Kara pulls back a moment, worried about hurting Lena, but the smaller woman just pushes forward again and kisses at her chin, at the corner of her lips, at every inch she can reach.

Kara gives up, lays back and lets Lena press kisses on her. "So happy then?"

"Yes," Lena laughs, finally pulling back. She rests their foreheads together. "You came back."

"I came back," Kara nods, sitting up, still holding tight to Lena with one arm. "For you."

Lena's sharp intake of breath makes Kara giggle. "I came back for you _,"_ she repeats, " _You_ , Lena Luthor-" Lena cuts her off with another kiss, another two, three, and as she's pressing a sixth kiss to Kara's neck, hears Kara whisper something low and definitely not in any Earth language Lena knows.

"What was that?" Lena murmurs.

"I love you." Kara's blushing, and Lena knows it's not at the sentiment, but the way she's said it.

"No-no you said it differently," Lena insists, pulling back to look at her, and feels Kara stiffen in her arms. "Kara?" After another moment's hesitation, Kara looks up at her.

" _Khap zhao rapp_ ," Kara repeats. Lena blinks.

"Is that Kryptonian?" Kara nods, looking apologetic, but Lena continues with a smirk. "It's  _very_  attractive. Say something else."

" _Rao_ ," Kara breathes. "You  _asking_ me to speak Kryptonian is attractive."

"Teach me?" Lena asks earnestly, and Kara surges forward.

"Yes-" Kisses her cheek. "But it might be-" Kisses the other cheek. "Slow going-" kisses her lips, and Lena responds in kind.

"That's fine with me," Lena grins when they break apart. "We've got all the time in the world."

/

L's is packed this particular Saturday night. Kara waves to Alexander, who gives an enthusiastic thumbs up at Lena trailing behind her. Lena returns the gesture, and they all but skip to the dance floor, giggling like teenagers.

The night passes in a blur. Sara buys them shots, which Kara still finds terrible and she nearly chokes. Winn selects songs for the girls to compete on DDR, which they discover they are very, very competitive over. Winn then steers them to a nice low-stress round of Fruit Ninja.

Midnight approaches, and they're wrapped around each other on the dance floor, Lena rolling her eyes at Kara mimicking Ed Sheeran's awful rapping, in awful Christmas sweaters that eventually get too hot. Even in death, in a human-built afterlife of their own choosing, they keep themselves feeling things the way they're supposed to be felt. Still dancing -  _I wanna be your endgame -_ in a blink, the sweaters disappear leaving tank tops and tight jeans instead, but honestly, neither really cares what the other is wearing as they spin around feeling normal and free and whole.

The clock hits 12:00 and a quarter of the crowd vanishes. The DJ hollers "Merry Christmas!" and Lena and Kara kiss in the dim lights of the club on the first of many, many Christmases in San Junipero.


End file.
